From Surfer to Monk to Gardener: The Seasons That Shaped Me

Growth through difficult seasons, Every Season Is Shaping You

What if your life hasn’t been random?

What if every season, even the painful ones, has been shaping you into something?

This question has been walking beside me recently. Not as a grand philosophical idea, but as something quiet and personal.

The Walk That Sparked The Question

I took it with me on a walk.

The air was cool. The trees were still. There is something about walking among trees that makes reflection feel natural. They do not rush. Trees do not apologise for growing slowly. They simply become what they are becoming.

And I began to wonder…

If my life so far were a tree, what tree would I be?

At first, I thought perhaps a weeping willow. Reflective. Sensitive. Bending with the wind. But willows, though beautiful, can be fragile in a storm.

Then I thought about a larch. Slow-growing. Shedding its needles each winter. Standing bare and exposed before quietly returning again in spring. There is honesty in that rhythm, losing everything and trusting it will return.

But as I continued walking, another tree came to mind.

A chestnut.

Chestnut trees take time. For years they do not look impressive. They are building roots. Strengthening underground. Doing work no one sees.

And when they mature, they are steady. Long-lived. Generous. Offering shelter. Offering fruit.

Standing there, something in me softened.

When Life Doesn’t Follow a Straight Line

Because my life has not been one straight line.

In my younger years, I was a surfer chasing large waves off the coast of South Africa. One day, a wave broke over me, snapped my board, and held me under in a way that changed something inside me forever. In the months that followed, life felt fragile and unpredictable. I witnessed loss. Experienced fear. Lost my stability. And lost my direction.

For a long time, I believed those years had derailed me.

Later, I ordained as a Buddhist monk and spent years immersed in meditation and silence. After that, I wandered. I lived simply. I worked with my hands as a gardener. Each chapter felt like a different identity. A different tree entirely.

At times, I judged myself for not having a single, impressive, linear story.

But standing among those trees, a new understanding emerged.

Perhaps the winters were not detours.
Maybe the storms were not setbacks.
Or those long quiet years were actually root work.

The surfer.
A monk.
The wanderer.
A gardener.

They were not contradictions.
They were seasons.

Nothing wasted.
Everything shaping.

The Invisible Work of Roots

We often measure growth by what is visible, status, income, achievement, recognition. But trees do not grow that way. Their strength is determined underground long before it appears above the surface.

Psychologically, we are no different. The seasons that feel slow, confusing, or invisible are often the ones building resilience, insight, compassion, and depth.

A forest is not made of one kind of tree.
It is the diversity that makes it strong.

And perhaps that is what we are each becoming, not identical lives, not perfect narratives, but deeply rooted individuals shaped by different climates and conditions.

What Season Are You In?

So let me gently offer this question to you:

What tree are you becoming?

And just as importantly…

What season are you in right now?

Are you in winter, judging yourself for being bare?
Perhaps you’re in spring, sensing something new but fragile?
Maybe you feel like you’re in the summer, fully expressed?
Or are you in autumn, shedding what no longer fits?

Whatever season you are in, it is not a mistake.

Growth is rarely dramatic. More often, it is quiet. Gradual. Invisible.

If my life has taught me anything, it is this:

The roots matter more than the applause.

Take a moment today to reflect.
Not on what you think you should be.
But on what your lived seasons have already been shaping.

You may discover that you have been growing in ways you had not yet noticed.

And if you feel called to share, I would genuinely love to hear what tree you feel you are becoming.

Growing Together

Over the past months, I have begun working more closely with people who feel they are in a season of transition — those who sense there is something changing within them but are unsure what it means or how to move forward.

My role is not to tell anyone what tree they should be.
It is to help them see clearly what is already growing.

Through quiet conversation, careful listening, and thoughtful questions, we begin to uncover the roots that have already formed — the resilience, insight, and depth that life has been building all along.

If you are in a season of uncertainty, reinvention, or quiet longing for something more aligned, you do not have to navigate it alone.

Sometimes a forest grows stronger simply because the trees are not standing in isolation.

If you feel drawn to explore this together, you are warmly welcome to reach out.

Kind and Warmest Regards

Dhamma Tāpasā

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